I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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