Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
