i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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