...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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