Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
