yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You can't special order awesome
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
