I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
