omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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