Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
