i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
