so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
