Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
