Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
