Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize