It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
