In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
