I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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