were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
