i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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