I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
