Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
