We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
