Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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