He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
