I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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