if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
