So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
