I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
