You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
