I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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