If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
