I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
