the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
