I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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