This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
