I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
