Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
