First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
