Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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