dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She announced her abortion via fbk
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
