theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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