Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
