We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
