My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
