I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
