The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize