I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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