Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
