So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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