So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was born a porn star she said
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
