i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
