Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
