i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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