it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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