just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
