Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
