That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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