so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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