do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
