She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
