I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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