I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
