Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
