How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
