We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
