I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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