oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I will be naked everywhere
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
