Tell her she can't have a vagina
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
