Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
