This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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