So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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